If you loved me you would have kissed me once a year.
If I was your girlfriend you would have done boyfriend things.
If you loved me you would have said so or shown me in some way.
You don’t even have any pictures of us on your phone.
After years.
If you thought I was worth it, you would have made the effort instead of putting more energy into sabotaging me at work and making me feel like the ugliest, most unloved person in the world.
If you considered me your girlfriend you would have kissed me, made love to me, helped me take pictures every day, told me I’m pretty, taken me to new places, wished me good mornings and maybe even bring me breakfast in bed.
No one including me believes that you ever loved me. So when you say I was cheating, please check yourself. You talk to your ex and your parking lot blow job more lovingly than you ever have with me and I’m the only one who’s been willing to help you and take care of you rent and food wise while you go to school and work full time.
You obviously were only around for free food and rent. I’m done paying for everything while you just add chaos into my life and make me wish I never helped you.
After wasting another hour in texts and energy, I finally reached out to authorities for advice.
I was playing girlfriend and doing girlfriend things for someone who wouldn’t do boyfriends things for me for years and he’s adamant I was cheating.
In my mind I wished you were my boyfriend and that’s probably why I got resentful.
I just don’t know how you could say I was your girlfriend when you weren’t kissing me, making love to me or taking me to the movies, one of my favorite things. “You tried to force your ex to take you to the movies just like you’re doing to me now.” If it’s such a nightmare effort to take me to the movies then just leave. I’m tired of paying all the bills for someone to just make my life harder for the both of us. I blocked him becuase his accusations are just getting exaggerated and out of hand now. He’s mad I was willing to talk to people when he left me on read and wouldn’t tell me I was beautiful. No effort in monthly dates, show of love or kind words, no b/g content for 2 years, etc. I paid for thousands of meals and worked by myself when I should have been more of a wild spirit during my best years and making content with more lovers/flings like all the successful people on onlyfans have. This is insane. There’s just no point. I’m not committing to misery. You pushed me to be desperate for love from other people while sabotaging my work and scaring off my fans and wonder why I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. This is just. Nuts.
Today, I washed most of my dishes and did laundry. I was a little naughty cuz I didn’t finish doing all of my dishes before going out of the house. I will do more tomorrow!
I Saw Rennfield movie at AMC theaters with new friends. Highly recommended. After that I got to go to Final Round. My new friend Venus won a stuffed mickey plushie I couldn’t get at one of the claw machines. It was such a good day. I had a fun filled time with lots of laughs and good moments. ☺️
Can someone who is more adult than I share what dental insurance they use? Especially if they’re self employed like me. I have a broken tooth rn. I should have tried to figure out how to have it taken care of earlier. Thank you.
The hotline was for k. I’m done fighting. I have a lot to take care of at home. I don’t think I’ll ever stop caring. I have a lot of love in me. Take what you can get because I think it’s easiest and healthiest for me to just stay single and fill my life with friendship.
I have to sign up for a movie membership. Looking for my card. If I can finish the dishes, I’ll let myself go to the movies!
I want to get over my shyness and take my time getting everything done. I’d like to present my best self in real life. Also, just gift people my time and energy when I can. About to finish laundry. I’ve been a little scatter brained cuz there’s a lot on my mind. I’ll just give myself a simple bubble life with a small circle of high quality people and adore them how I can when I can. I’ll date myself for now There’s a lot of room for me to grow and I’d like the chance to learn.
I should try to wake up and leave the house a little earlier. I’m gonna work on the laundry and spring cleaning some more. I could go to movies with friends.
Tired of myself and writing these fckkng essays to nobody every day. If you weren’t big enough for this ride then get off. Ask your parking lot blow job to pay your rent.
I’d stop spilling real life into internet world if you would just stop sabotaging me in private. I don’t care how hurt you are or how heartless you think I am even though I have been the only one making this much effort to take care of you. Pay your own rent and buy your own food. It is not my fault if you choose to not do your homework or not focus on work and choose to harass me instead. I hate my life with you. You won’t give me good days and wonder why I’m miserable or caught feeling for someone willing to take me to the movies. You are the worst boyfriend a sexworker could have, making me feel so ugly BECAUSE YOURE ADDICTED TO PORN OF OTHER GIRLS AND COULDNT GIVE ME A BONER. HOW DID YOU EXPECT ME TO FEELAFTER YEARS OF NO SEX??? MY CAREER TANKED TRYING TO PLAY GIRLFRIEND FOR YOU LIKE AN IDIOT AND I WISH I HAD MORE FLINGS WHEN YOU REFUSED TO DO ANYTHING BUT SIT ON MY COUCH AND NOT HELP ME. and then when I finally get some content to try and make up for the years of solo content/ Poor performance you tell me I can’t use it unless I give you a cut??????? I don’t care if it was my idea at first. I’ve spent thousands on you while you make me miserable. I’m tired of crying almost every night. all the girls my age are flying around in private planes and enjoying single life vacations and boat excursions with lots of lovers and happiness and all you offer me is ckenzjend dockekdnfjckensjjsjencnsjsbebfb
YOU said I can’t use our content with you. IM STILL WAITING FOR YOU TO BE WORTH IT. IM TIRED OF WORKING THIS HARD TO PAY FOR RENT, BILLS AND DINNER YOU NEVER HELP OUT WITH. Then don’t be surprised when I use someone else as Ken doll who doesn’t ask for any money at all.
I HAVE ENOUGH ON MY PLATE BUT YOURE TAKING UP ALL OF MY TIME AND ENERGY I DONT HAVE TIME TO BE LIKE THIS EVERY DAY.
YOU NEED ME THE LEAST OUT OF EVERYONE IM TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF. WAKE THE FCKK UP ALREADY AND GET THE FCUK OUT OF MY WAY IF YOURE NOT HELPING ME.
My goal is to stream AT LEAST 6 times a day. I’m trying to catch up since I was away in Orlando (I didn’t make money. I was helping a local business and building memories and friendships like a normal girl.) I was enjoying real life for a bit. My numbers are slipping.
I’m trying really hard.
I know I look like a red flag throwing red flags.
I’m tired of being held back or sabotaged in weird ways I can’t talk about or share.
I’m not lying. I’m being honest when I say I’m trying to save myself, help some really sweet, wonderful people, take care of home and save the world.
It’s just taking me a really long time to get stable because of how much is being demanded of me and I need to recharge. I need enough peace, quiet, time, stability and love to get to where I know i need to be. I know you’re all smart enough to see what it is I’m trying to do even if it doesn’t happen in my lifetime. Don’t talk to me like I’m weird, dumb, mentally Ill or wrong for trying to free all caged birds or I will immediately know you are not on my team. You will let me know you do not understand me and are simply a distraction trying to slow me down or stop me.
Please make it possible for me.
I streamed 6 times today. Thank you, online lovers for taking care of me or supporting me. I can’t do this alone as my biggest hypeman. I know what I want is possible but not with everything going on at home that is half my fault for allowing tk happen. I don’t want to villainize anyone and I understand why they are lashing out but enough is enough. Get with the program or gtfo. We had 3 years to make it worth it for each other and clearly what I provided wasn’t enough and I am not happy dating someone who refuses to take me to the movies or call me beautiful so it is what it is. We don’t have to be friends. You don’t have to talk to me anymore. I don’t want to talk to you anymore if it’s just going to be 4 hours of screaming until I have to start screaming louder than you. I want to be alone.
Thank you for hanging out and cheering me on. I know I am not my best self right now and I just want to see everyone I’ve ever met be happy but not at my expense. I’m sorry for breaking up your corn feed with me if you’re not big enough to handle it. I am who I am and I’m not changing or stopping.
As always, I’ve left live streams unlocked for several hours because I’m being generous and I may lock them up later. I need to take care of home and laundry right now. Thank you.
#cindymoon #007 #blog #silk
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Everyone get off my diq.
If you scream at me another night for 4 hours, sabotage me instead of helping me when you’re lucky enough to have access to me and always keep me from working, I will not be coming home for a week. I have more important shtt to do than let someone destroy my self esteem and pretend they’re doing me any favors.
I’m sorry for hurting you after you made me feel like the ugliest and unloved person in the entire world but it’s too little too late and I don’t want this crazy Ron and Tammy life anymore. Stop threatening to hurt my job and yourself. You’re older than me and should be taking care of me not destroying me and yourself for no one’s benefit.
No one in real life can see or appreciate the real me and I want space to connect with the people who have been patient, kind and taking care of me so generously. Stop distracting me. I’m trying to save myself, help people who are borderline homeless and struggling to take care of their beautiful 4 kids and save the world while you call me heartless for choosing myself and leaving you, the person who has never appreciated me. You cry and you say you love me but I am miserable every single day. STOP IT. STOP THREATENING ME AND STOP HURTING YOURSELF TO HURT ME. I DONT HAVE TIME FOR ALL OF THIS.
HOW CAN YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME WHEN YOU MAKE ME ALMOST CRY EVERY NIGHT
I would make so much more money if everyone would just stop trying to possess me. I want to make happy self pleasure photos but I can’t with all these voices and thoughts. Give me space and what I need so I can do what needs to be done. I need to take over the world but I cant do it with jealous boys who cant value my friendship.
When people ask me what my job is I usually say writer or dog sitter. 🥰
I work a lot of odd jobs to keep the roof over my head and my loved ones taken care of. I am so blessed to have choices and be able to pursue different things at my own pace and leisure.
Got to dog sit today and make sure a furry princess got to her vet. It was a really good day. I have nothing to complain about. Let’s count our blessings. 🥰🫶
#maihero #cindymoon #daily #blog
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My roommate and I have mellowed out since this morning. I’m sorry right now we’re that episode of Parks and Recreation : Ron and Tammy: Part 2.
I am remorseful of my contribution to his crazy. He’s done some good for me. We both butt heads, get defensive and but he’s not as ??? As my other ex so I know that I will be okay. I hurt him as well and I want both of our inner childsss to be okay. We will both focus on school and work.
He has stated he’d like us to part peacefully. We both know this isn’t mentally healthy for us. He is looking for his new place. I have to respect his wishes to not have our content shared. We may come to an agreement to let me use our content to be sold again in the future.
Hope everyone who had the chance to buy it enjoyed it. I am taking the adult content creator role more seriously and am looking forward to taking this business further. 🐱
I am grateful and thankful for my unique position in life. I look forward to paying off my school loans, debt, taxes and bills so that I can pursue my dreams.
I still have a long way to go (almost have enough to pay off taxes for last year and then work on school loans.) I’ve grown up more and slowed down on taking care of others before I take care of myself.
I have full confidence that I will get to where I need to be even if it takes me a while. Thanks for hanging out and cheering me on. 🌹
