People have been asking me what happened with my crush. He felt the same way and agreed to date me. He even set rules of not fucking each other’s friends and if you fucked other guys (for filming) let’s not make the other find out. But on day two he got high, which I didn’t know he did, and got lost for the remainder of the 3 days and won’t come near me but fucked everyone else. But easy to forgive he’s going through stuff and I just wanted him safe. But he had changed.
Anyway this isn’t about him. One of my close confidants who’s a friend I partner with to top bottoms in my films was very supportive when I discussed my crush and how I’ll ask him out. He gave good advice. My friend often tells me he loves me. We’re close. Like deep friendship love as he’s married to a guy. Anyway my crush as I said said yes to me. Imagine how my world imploded when I saw from the balcony my boy, who was very high, was in this friends room. I raced up there to find out they were about to film!!! I told my friend “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??? WHAT!!!! You know how I feel about him!!! We’re building something. I DO NOT WANT YOU INSIDE MY BOY!!!!!!!!”
I was raging with anger but had to control myself because as a black man if you dare show feelings of anger when angry you’re called scary, violent and aggressive. My friend said “i don’t have feelings for him it’s just work” Clearly meaning my boy was just a hole to him. I said to him “sitting over there is your husband how would you feel if I fucked him?” Look on his face told me he knew it was wrong. He was so shocked when I walked into the room. So he knew it was wrong. Had been caught.
I told my boy that was a friend of mine who knew about us but my boy was so high nothing of reality was registering. I left. Guess what? my friend fucked my boy and that destroyed everything.
It’s the one time I have ever wished I was white so I could beat him to hell. But as a black man I can’t do that. I wish I was in Britain I would have been able to but I was mindful I was in a foreign country. But I promise I have stuff planned for him. It’s the cruelty that I don’t get but he’s just an empty desperate man so he has no morals and gets off with stuff like this. But no one gets away with it, I’ll make sure he doesn’t.
Back from the gay porn awards the Grabbys. Great place to meet colleagues and have lots of sex and collabs. Turns out my perfect crush who agreed to date me has a drug problem and it was a horror show that put me through hell. First time ever I thought I’d date a guy and it was such a disaster that broke me. But I’m healing. My porn friends were supportive. Now I’m getting ready for New York.
FuckFacts: This film made waaay back in 2022 and it's the only film I have that's been unreleased for so long. I was in Vienna working and Uruguarian porn actor Tony Kerr, who was literally the only content maker in Vienna. And he too was visiting. Our times didn't match as we both had lots of clients so I went to seen him on my way to the airport! It was a good fuck. I was new at the time so he had everything on his phone then months and months later started sending it to me in drips and drabs as he could not edit it as he said he would. So I offered to do it. It took a while to get everything and they by then I was up and running with new films recording and releasing them.
So this film took a seat on the back burner for all that time. Last week I FINALLY edited ALL my films and had time to go and face this one. I forgot it's actually good. And it's a good film to watch from two years ago showing how I was when I first started. I had only been filming for a year at that point. Enjoy. Catch you on Sunday
This is a collab from yesterday. My porn star friends talked me down from doing the 9 scenes in 24 hours I had planned. They reminded me that I have so much content already and I didn’t need to do so much and everyone is telling me I should start to relax. So I’m listening. They still think it’s crazy to be doing 5 when the average is two max per day.
Anyway I have a secret crush I filmed with months ago and I asked him out yesterday. Took a lot for me to come to terms that I was about to ask a guy out. I feel proud that I did it because of what I feel regardless of his gender. He’s been receptive in a huge way but needs time to get over a debilitatingly crushing break up so I’m stepping aside to let him breathe yet still get to hold him and kiss him when he’s in the mood to accept it. It’s not easy. I told you guys I’ll always be candid about everything I feel throughout this process. I can’t tell you who he is but you have seen the film. I wrote a FuckFacts about the scene it was an astounding moment.
I’m off to the Grabbys (porn awards) in Torremolinos in Spain. Wall to wall porn actors fucking. I’ve cancelled all my bottoming scenes because as usual I’ve been overtraining myself with toys in the bid to take hung guys better. I should have taken it easy but that’s not my nature but I’m trying to correct that. Anyway I broke my arse badly so needs time to heal. Anyway I’ll be topping as usual which I love. Also will try to take it easy and make this my first holiday in 5 years by just resting from Saturday to Monday as I’m in New York from Wednesday for 15 days and that’ll be super busy. But I’m determined to learn to have a good work/ life balance. My friends at the Grabbys I’m with have vowed to help me. I mean people do 2 scenes max a day I had myself booked in for 9 films in 24 hours. Now it’s 6. Crazy right. I’ll let you know how I get on 😘
So busy packing for my trip to Spain tomorrow for the Grabbys in Torremolinos (the porn awards) and EVERYTHING else to do. I have naughty shenanigans planned I’ll keep you updated.
In the meantime here’s the trailer for Friday’s film.
Just finished editing all of my films for the first time ever! What a milestone!!! Then again I do have a huge catalog of films as I film a lot. Strange feeling that I can actually put my phone down! To celebrate I’ll watch Dune 1 and Dune 2 as a treat to myself! Happy Sunday everyone!!!!
Just had a dirty 3 hour session in a seedy dungeon 🔥 Tell you about it later. Here’s the trailer for this Friday’s film I did in Madrid with Spanish porn actor @johnbrachalli
Here's today's film I did with @rio9rande. FuckFacts: This sexy short guy had to make sure I had a nice personality before he agreed to film with me. He is a nice guy. We nearly didn't film as he travels a lot but he's trip got delayed so he contacted me very last minute and we made it happen. I've told him today that I'm in coming to his city soon and this time I want to fuck the hell out of his fucking cunt and you know I fucking will. He said yes as long as he's in town. Catch you guys on Sunday with the trailer for the next film coming out the next day on Monday. Kisses 😘
